i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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