I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
