What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
