She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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