she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
