He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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