Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
