Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
