i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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