You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
