I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
