I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
