Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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