"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
