meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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