I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
