dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
