I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I skipped work to stalk him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
