I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
