we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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