i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
