Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
