I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
