when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
