What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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