Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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