Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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