Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
