You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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