I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
