I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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