I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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