Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
