Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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