Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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