If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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