We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
