I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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