im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
ttyl tear gas
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
