You're so nebulous sometimes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
