Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize