we have officially lost it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
