Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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