You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
