the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
