So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I pour the whiskey from now on
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
