If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
