I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
