SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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