So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
