you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
