Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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